I Can't Believe I Still Get These Calls

I got a message on my cell phone today: "Hi. I need directions to the lighthouse. Please call me at: XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thank you." Of course, he didn't actually say "XXX-XXX-XXXX." And he didn't say WHICH lighthouse - there are 20 on and around Long Island (assuming he was talking about a Long Island lighthouse).

I have been largely out of the lighthouse business for several years. Yet I still get these calls on my personal cell phone. My phone used to ring constantly. I was a victim of my own success. The group that I started grew quickly and gained a good reputation, I volunteered and spoke at many places and events, my web site had high visitation, and my research and preservation efforts became fairly widely known (I won a national historic lighthouse preservation award in 2005). I heard as recently as last year of people still showing up at local lighthouses asking if I was around.

Oh, and I still have a stalker. Yes, you read that right.

One of the reasons I left the lighthouse business was because I was becoming too popular (as odd as that might sound). My e-mail and phone were always full of questions and - too often -- demands. The questions were fine, if they were polite (I hate unsolicited e-mails that do not start off with a greeting -- "Hi Bob," "Dear Mr. Muller," "Good afternoon, sir," "Hey Shit-For-Brains" or whatever shows at least a modicum of civility and respect), and if was not just someone obviously looking for me to do their homework or term paper. In fact, one of my favorite things about my lighthouse work was when people asked me new and interesting questions, as that meant an opportunity for me to learn more. Those questions were not the majority, though.

I got lots of e-mail about lighthouse photos, too. I always gave permission if someone asked to use a photo for a company logo, personal web site, or whatever (SEE NOTE). I would even do special photo shoots in some cases. As the photo work became too much, I started handing those off to others.

Sometimes, I was asked for travel advice. I always did my best, and even arranged to meet some people visiting Long Island to give them some personal tour guidance.

As I started gaining some popularity, though, I started to become uncomfortable with it. I always made sure that my neighbor had a larger lighthouse on the front lawn than me. I just had one little one with a solar light in it; my neighbor had a much larger, and more colorful, one. That strategy worked, as at least once (it may have been twice) someone went to my neighbor's house looking for me.

I am, by nature, a private and shy individual. I am not comfortable being the center of attention. I don't need the attention or any sort of external validation. I prefer to quietly sit back and observe the world. That's how I learn. Having someone in my face all the time prevents me from doing that. And being someone who is any sort of even-a-really-minor-celebrity reduces your freedom. I may not have much respect for celebrities, but I do have some sympathy for the loss of freedom that they suffer.

My goal for the future is to remain somewhat of a moving target. Part of that is to keep expanding my horizons, and to keep from being stuck in one subject too long, but part of it is also my distaste for being the center of (often undesired) attention.

XXX

NOTE: The 2002 movie, A Rumor of Angels, with Ray Liotta and Vanessa Redgrave, includes one of my lighthouse photos digitally inserted into the scenery. I also did a poster, a calendar, donated some photos for books and magazines, and some other stuff. The lobby of Stony Brook Hospital includes five of my lighthouse photos, which I had forgotten about until I went in for my heart procedure in 2007 and saw them on the wall. Newsday used one of my photos once without my permission, as did Lighthouse Digest. I also saw one of the photos from my web site on -- get this -- a decorative bar of soap at a local craft fair.