Religious Leaders Helping The Global Climate.

WARNING: I intended this to be not much more than a little news tidbit that mocked some silliness, but I got carried away and used some bad words. If that might offend you, please navigate away from this page. Yes, I could have edited them out, but that would have changed the entire flow and feel of the piece, and I am too much of an artist to do that. ;-)

This morning, I heard a report on BBC News about a historic meeting in the UK. Religious leaders from around the world got together to address global climate change. What did they do?

With Christians and Muslims and Jews and others all together to address global climate change, you would expect them to use their particular skills and knowledge to fix the changing climate. What might these special abilities entail? Faith, and the answers it provides, right? Basically, you'd expect them to pray for a fix, then call it a day, right? Nope. They issued a statement. A statement. I am not kidding. According to the BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8333250.stm), "[i]n a statement, the religious leaders urged G20 governments to fight for a deal which would quickly end global reliance on fossil fuels." Yup, they basically prayed to government.

In all fairness, that's not all they did: "The leaders promised to raise awareness of climate change in their communities." Nice. They are going to act as ad agencies doing PSA's. Very nice. "They also said they would support international efforts to help the poorest and most vulnerable people cope with climate change, and redouble their efforts to cut emissions from their own institutions." Okay... That's kind of a non-statement, and certainly not something that we need religious leaders for. In fact, if we could get religions to stop sucking up tons of money to self-perpetuate and made that money available to scientific and technological efforts to deal with climate issues, and to science education in all nations, we just might be able to do something to help those people better deal with climate change.

Why did these religious leaders get together in the UK? Perhaps because a British scientist, Lord May, asked them to do so (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/sep/07/global-warming-religion). A scientist asking religious leaders to help with a problem?! Wow, maybe scientists really do turn to gods when the going gets tough, as evangelists try to tell us. What did he want them to do? Pray? Appeal to the Holy Spirit? Collectively say a dozen or so Hail Maries while facing Mecca? According to The Guardian, he said that "[r]eligious leaders should play a frontline role in mobilising people to take action against global warming." Uhhh... What? "May said religion had historically played a major role in policing social behaviour through the notion of a supernatural 'enforcer', a system that could help unify communities to tackle environmental challenges. 'How better it is if the punisher is an all-powerful, all-seeing deity,' he said." Oh, he wants religious leaders to try to intimidate and coerce the multitudes. Now, that makes sense. Use a group's special knowledge to help out. Who coerces better than the clergy? Lord May did not, apparently, mention prayer in his statement (See? You don't need a collection of religious leaders in order to make a statement to the British press).

So there was no mention of prayer anywhere in this? Isn't that the ultimate mega-tool -- the Cosmic Sawzall -- that only the pious can use?

I did eventually find an article that talked about religious leaders assembling to pray for climate change (http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKL0793503820070907). This article DOES address prayer for climate change. But that was over two years ago. Shouldn't we be seeing the changes by now? They were praying to the omniscient, omnipresent, loving all-powerful Wizard of... I mean, God, right? Zip-bang-boom! Done! That's the way that god works. I have read it, repeatedly, in that god's own words. Basically "Fuck with me and ye shall be smited! Kiss my ass and ask for whatever and I will grant thee three wishes." So what the hell did they pray for? "'This prayer is a recognition that we have spoiled the earth and we now need to rectify this by changing our lifestyles,' said Musharraf Hussein, a British Muslim leader. 'We seek the help of our creator to acquire the strength and ability to make the necessary changes.' You idiots! Religious scripture is full of examples of the pious asking for divine help and getting entire armies wiped out for them! Seas parted! Plagues! In the face of global climate problems, you ask for help changing your lifestyles!? If you need lifestyle changes, pray for your god to keep you people from lying, stealing, molesting children, starting wars, spreading hate, oppressing minority groups, and killing people. THOSE are fucking lifestyle changes! THIS is a global climate issue! I hope Mr. Hussein made that statement wearing an orange wig, red nose, and really big yellow shoes with red laces.

You're right: I am not taking these religious leaders and their work seriously. How could I? We hear about the power of faith and prayer, but when the shit is on the line they... ummm... issue a statement through the British media. A copping out of biblical proportions (pun intended). In colloquial terms: An Epic Fail. This is like Obi Wan, at the point where Luke is about to try to blow up the Death Star, instead of saying "Use The Force, Luke," going "Umm... Good luck." Come to think of it, when considering the prospect of religions helping to address global climate issues, that'd be my response, as well.

XXX

PS -- Seriously, if this sort of stuff doesn't persuade you that even the clergy know that prayer is bullshit, you are beyond help.