Friendship

I generally abhor the nonsense that gets passed around as chain mail, including the mushy "you are my friend" kind of stuff. Here's one that is more realistic:

1. When you are SAD, I will jump on the person who made you sad, like a spider monkey jacked up on Red Bull.

2. When you are BLUE, I will try to dislodge whatever is stuck in your trachea.

3. When you SMILE, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're SCARED, we will high tail it out of here together (unless you can't keep up).

5. When you are WORRIED, I will tell you 'horrible' stories about how much worse it could be, until you quit whining like a big baby.

6. When you are CONFUSED, I will speak slowly and use little words.

7. When you are SICK, stay the heck away from me, until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you FALL, I will pick you up and dust you off (after I'm done laughing my ass off).

9. This is my OATH, I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

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Friendship is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only YOU can feel the true warmth.