I will call this person X. This person's current spouse will be called S. Their children will be XSb (the boy) and XSg (the girl).
X was born in a fundamentalist family in the rural Bible Belt. X was raised to believe that the Bible is the word of their god. Their brand of fundamentalism includes many of the usual maneuvers to deal with criticism of scripture, including the idea that the Old Testament no longer applied once Jesus was crucified (SEE NOTE 1).
X was molested by an uncle as a child. Although I do not have the details of the incidence, it, at the very least, involved some sort of inappropriate touching.
X's first spouse was in seminary school when they met. After their marriage, X's first spouse got the opportunity for his first job as the clergyman in charge of a congregation (SEE NOTE 2). When they had dinner to discuss the position with the church's elder and his wife, the elder commented -- out loud -- that he would like to see X in a bikini (X is attractive now, so I am sure she was back then, as well). As X's spouse's new position depended on the decision of this elder, the comment was allowed to pass.
X's first marriage did not work out (I do not have details on why), but she has commented several times that she believes the congregation blamed her for the divorce. Women are, after all, second-class citizens -- an afterthought that was only worth creating when the animals were not good enough companionship for the man -- in the Abrahamic traditions.
X remarried. I would expect that there was much talk of religion before the marriage, as this is an important topic for X, and that X was satisfied with the religiosity of her new spouse, S. Within hours of arriving at their honeymoon location, X found out that S was addicted to drugs. Rather than a happy start to a new life together, their honeymoon was, essentially, a cold turkey experience for S, and S was not particularly nice about it, as you might imagine. X does not like to talk about the honeymoon.
X has said now that maybe she should have sought to annul the marriage right away, but she is no quitter and is a person of faith. I expect that she prayed as hard as she ever had to get the situation right.
Somehow, this hideous relationship was allowed to progress to the point of them having two children (I suspect that faith in the power of prayer was part of the justification). Although X believes that S no longer uses drugs, he does use alcohol, and is not terribly nice when he does (not that he is nice when he is totally sober, either). X says that S calls the kids names (you name it, he has probably called them it), and sometimes hits them (I have seen a photo of a handprint on one of the kids' ribs). He is not much nicer to X, and she had to get stitches one time from having a door slammed on her foot.
I have a saying that "you don't marry a person, you marry a family," and that applies here. S's mother empowers him and covers up for him, even in the face of photographic evidence and actual wounds. S's sister -- we'll call her S2 -- has some serious mental problems and is on permanent disability because of them. Somehow, though, S2 has been allowed to babysit X's children. You may see this next bit coming...
Last year, one of X's children, XSg, told her that S2 had touched her inappropriately. Naturally, S and his mother defended S2 and said the child was probably making it up. X demanded that S2 no longer be allowed to be alone with the children, and this has caused many fights. S has even gone so far as to tell the children that they could not see their grandparents on one holiday because their mother hates S2. Classy, huh? Hey, he goes to church so he must have morals, right?
I try to mind my own business and not make judgments based on the testimony of one side of a problem (although I believe X to be very honest, if brainwashed and deluded by religion). But I encouraged X to get third-party involvement when the inappropriate touching incident(s) was/were revealed. She did. She contacted one of the nation's most prominent big-name churches. What did they tell her? They told her what Bible passages to approach S2 with to try to show her her sins. Yup. Not "contact the police." Not "get your kids and run like hell." Not "get the kids to a professional who can help them avoid permanent emotional scarring." Nope. Bible passages. I suspect they wanted a contribution for this "service," although that was not expressed to me.
I don't know all the details of where this is now, but X had made a doctor's appointment for XSg a few weeks back. It is a shame that she wasted time by turning to religion first, then to science (although I am not positive that she went through with the doctor's appointment).
This is a heart-breaking story in so many ways. X is a smart, hard-working, honest, talented, attractive person and deserves nothing but the best in life (as do her kids). But she has been repeatedly victimized by her family and her religion.
I didn't really want to talk about this issue -- mostly because I fear that someone may figure out who X is, but also because it is seriously tragic -- so please do not ask any questions or make any comments. This is all I will say about this. Just understand the lack of value that some religions put on human health and well-being, and the very real suffering that the brainwashing creates.
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NOTE 1: No, I have never tried to question this with X, although it seems pretty obvious to me that a god that exists unchanging, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient "outside time and space" could not, by definition, make a left at Albuquerque. Nor have I mentioned the New Testament passage where Jesus is supposed to have said something about coming to enforce the law, not abolish it)
NOTE 2: I am not saying "pastor," or "priest," etc., because of my concern for keeping X's anonymity
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