Christmas has always been a special time in my family, which has primarily Lutheran roots. For the most part, though, that religious heritage has not figured greatly in our celebrations.
While a couple of members of the family are regular church attendees, others of us are not. I've been to Christmas services several times, of my own choice. I happen to like churches and the "feel" that is given to them architecturally and mythologically. There is, to me, something very unique about a house of worship. I have attended an Orthodox Easter mass in Moscow and made an offering at a Tibetan Buddhist temple in St Petersburg (SEE NOTE 1). And there is something cool about a Christian church at Christmastime.
It was a little more special when I didn't understand that the Christmas story is a lie about Jesus' birth (SEE NOTE 2). And historical evidence that I have seen points to a birth date several months earlier in the year (SEE NOTE 3). The placement of the celebrated date around the winter solstice not only fits with the mythological hero role of someone like Jesus (a bringer of light, and all that), it is also consistent with Christianity's habit of fighting other religions by absorbing their holidays (Halloween is another good example). But although I know that the clergy are lying to the congregation, I still appreciate -- if I may nod to Joseph Campbell -- the power of myth.
Much more powerful for me at Christmastime, though, is the sort of gathering of friends of family, both literally and emotionally, and the idea of doing good toward others. I like to think that some seeds of closeness and decency are sowed at this time of year. I am not a real social person, so the parties and gatherings at this time of year aren't a huge attraction to me, but I know they do some good for many people. And the exchanging of cards and presents, although it is becoming more and more commercialized and trivialized, does make a little more of a connection between people. We are a little more likely to call or write someone we haven't communicated with in a while. The holiday wishes people exchange are a little nicer than the usual iciness we see in public. There are a few more smiles, hugs, and handshakes at this time of year, and that is a good thing (SEE NOTE 4).
The decorations on trees and buildings and in yards provide a sort of -- when done well -- artistic side of the holiday, often while evoking the sense of wonder we felt as children and too often lose as adults.
This time of year, we are reminded of the simple things in life, which also happen to be the important things in life. Although I believe we may set a bad example to children when we lie about the literal existence of Santa Claus, I do believe that the stories of Santa Claus, like many other fables, offer good life lessons (self-sacrifice, generosity, strength in the face of adversity, etc.).
Christmas, like life, is largely what you make of it. I acknowledge the Christian lies and oppression, and the commercialism, and the superfluousness of those who are just as superfluous the rest of the year, and other negative aspects of Christmas. But I won't let those people ruin the spirit of the holiday for me. If anything, it inspires me to work harder to fight such injustices and promote corny things like "good will toward men (SEE NOTE 5)."
This holiday season, I have taken my developmentally-challenged sister Judy to see The Nutcracker (her first time at the ballet), taken her and my 90-year-old mother to see the holiday light display at the Holtsville Ecology Center (funds raised help care for the animals at the center), taken Mom out to find a real wreath for her apartment, and this week we are putting up Mom's tree for her and taking her and Judy out to see the lights on the Montauk Point Lighthouse. Most of the family will gather for dinner Christmas Eve and on Christmas -- it is important to Mom to spend time with all of her five kids this time of year. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve, Diane and I will take Judy to the nighttime holiday happenings at historic Old Bethpage. I won't get to spend as much time with close friends as I would like, but they will -- hopefully -- still be around after my mother leaves us, and I will spend more holiday time with them then.
So, to my friends, family, bandmates, coworkers, online acquaintances, and even those who I don't know and may never know: I wish you the merriest of Christmases and a season filled with wonder, joy and inspiration. I hope you all find the strength and fortune to move closer to your dreams now and in the future.
XXX
NOTE 1: I forgot to take my hat off when I stepped in, and the monk let me know pretty quickly -- even though he spoke neither English or Russian -- that that was a no-no. I made up for it by giving an offering of a book that had been published in the US about the history of that temple. He seemed excited about it -- you know, for a Buddhist monk...
NOTE 2: If you want to argue with me about that, go ahead and write down each account of the birth story, then let me know what you found.
NOTE 3: Yes, I know there is some debate about whether Jesus actually existed, and extremely little contemporary evidence or mention of him, but I get the feeling that there was SOMEONE doing SOMETHING that got all these people excited at the time, and we may as well refer to that person as Jesus. We often cannot see details through the fog of time, but we can detect some sort of movement. As someone who has published two history books and established a cherished reputation as being a stickler about separating facts and fiction, I am well aware that we sometimes just have to admit that we do not know, and perhaps cannot know, many important historical facts.
NOTE 4: Yes, I know the hugs and handshakes can transmit disease... Work with me here, okay?
NOTE 5: Of course, I am using "men" as a gender-neutral abbreviation for humanity.
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